Friday, February 22, 2008

Weekends With Momma

This week my weekend arrived a day early. The school where I teach on Fridays was having an in-service day so right after my Writer’s Guild meeting I headed straight to Momma’s getting here around 10 PM.

L_ told me how much better Momma was that day, showed me things she has done around the house, the new package of adult disposable pull ups in the cupboard…

So, middle of the night Momma came out to the living room, not to visit, just to sit. Now granted it was a bright moonlit night. I could see clear across the lake and that is more than I can see today since it has become socked in with fog.

Last weekend Momma started a little singsong thing. My weekend kind of went like…

“Found a penny, found a penny, found a penny, Where’d you find it? On the floor, on the floor, on the floor.” “What are you doing, what are you doing, what are you doing?”

”I’m fixing breakfast.”

”Found a penny, found a penny, found a penny…”

This weekend the sing song was back though there was less of it. Today’s theme was “I want to go HOME!” She has spent the day wearing a winter coat. It’s 75 degrees inside!
”It’s getting time to head home.”
”We are spending the night here.”
”I want to go home.”
”L_ will be along later.”
”I don’t know the people who live here.”
”This is the house Daddy built you.”
”I don’t know if the man moved in here or not.”
”You live here with L_.”
”I want to go home.”

This afternoon she picked up her purse, a bag with some belongings, and her Bible and headed out the door. I asked, “Where are you going?” She says, “I’m going outside.” When she didn’t come back in after a bit, I went looking for her. She had walked out her driveway, headed for home. The home she remembers is in Michigan. Heck of a walk! I went out and took her four footed cane to her, gently took her by the arm and turned her around, got her headed back towards the house. I wasn’t dressed for the cold so came back in and watched through the window. She made her way back in and I fixed her supper.

“I want to go home.”
”We’re going to sleep here tonight.”
”It’s getting late, we should go home.”

“I want to go home.”
”We’re going to sleep here tonight.”
”It’s getting late, we should go home.”

“We’re going to sleep here tonight.”
”What I want is to get into that car and head home.”
”This is your home. The home you remember in Michigan doesn’t exist anymore.”
”There’s a disagreement in what constitutes home.”
”We are staying here tonight.”

She’s finally engrossed in a nice old movie. Perhaps by the time it’s over she’ll be ready to go to bed. I know I will!


jennifer said...

Oh Dear. Hard, very hard. Been through it, so this post hurts my heart. I'm sorry Honey.

My grandmother climbed in a truck and tried to drive home. She wound up in a town near her childhood home, so we think that is where she was heading. My mother couldn't talk to me about what was happening to her mother(it's what we do, become emotionally constipated and when we do express ourselves, it hurts like all get out). I was blind sided. There was no gentle easing into Alzheimer's for me, just a horrible afternoon of her disease in my face. That was the first day I mourned my Nanny. Probably the worst day I've had of mourning, even when she passed away. If I could make it better for you I would. I'll keep you in my prayers. Jen

Wamblings said...

Jen, Thanks Sweetie. I'm so worn out. First there was Daddy and about 5 years of mini strokes and progressive dementia. One month before he died Momma had her first stroke. At the time she was in the hospital for back pain after a fall and we thought it was just the pain meds making her loopy. It's been over 4 years now. I'm tired. I still want to be a good daughter but it is hard. For awhile I was doing good with entering into her world but when "home" is three states north of here, I can't very well just take her for a little ride to see that the old house isn't there, or to see the cemetery where her parents are buried. Thanks for your prayers.

DaForeigner said...

Sorry. I have not had to deal with anything of the sort yet in my lifetime, but have witnessed it at a friends house. His Grandfather moved back home, after he was unable to fully take care of himself. It definitely takes strength, courage, and patience...I think you will always be a good daughter. :)


theoffendedblogger said...

Oh, dear. :(

I know you try to find the humor in this but it must be very difficult. You have my support.

If it makes you feel any better, or at least makes you snicker, I am not far from being like Momma myself, especially if I forget my ADD medication. :)

Wamblings said...

Rob, I grew up seeing these things from the outside looking in. My cousin's grandfather lived with her. My grandmother lived with us. Somehow, I thought I would be prepared. It is the next normal stage of life. First they care for us, later we care for them. I'm not ready! I've been dealing with this so long and I'm so NOT ready.

Offended, I decided a long time ago, in other situations that if you do not find a way to laugh, you will likely cry so since laughter is healthier than sadness... But yeah, sometimes it is hard to find the humor. Or you can see the humor but not be sure how to safely share it.

jennifer said...

Wamblings, it's stange. That is when my Grandmother went down hill too. She suffered a fall (I was with her and I think the lack of guilt that I assume offends my mother) and from that day forward, she was not the same.

Are we still on friendly terms? I've been a rotten blog friend and just now come back to find your answering comment. Forgive me, real life and not the FUN blog-life calls. I know you understand. You are a busy lady too! Going to read your latest post now - Jen

jennifer said...

Ahem, that would be Strange and came back. Why do I read AFTER I publish and not before?

Wamblings said...

hahaha, it would be pretty hard to keep up with all responses everywhere and we do have our real lives. At some point in a comments conversation you just have to move on to newer fresher conversations.

Hope things are going well for you. Consider this line of conversation moved to newer venues. :P